Between the Rock & the hard place

It’s been ten and a half long years of an epilepsy journey.  A few things I have learned are that no two epilepsy cases are identical.  Just like our brains are unique, so is each epilepsy case so please don’t assume that since you know someone who has it that all other cases are the same.  THEY ARE NOT and that is the most difficult of all things when treating a person with the disease.  The brain is truly “the final frontier”.
As the years have progressed so has Mason’s epilepsy.  Just when we think we know it’s pattern, boom!  We are shocked when it changes.  Just when we think we know a trigger, boom!  New things start causing seizures.  Same with medications, etc.   The last few months have had us on our toes.  We have made two trips to the ER due to multiple seizures.  The worst episode being March 31st when Mason had six grand mal seizures between 6-11am.  Grand mal seizures are the most dangerous.
The lingering long term side effects are starting to show up in Mason.  The heavy amounts of meds and the seizures have made him forgetful.  When I say forgetful I don’t mean just the small things I mean the big things like things we did on family vacations, when he bought a favorite Gator shirt, and other moments that begin to break our hearts as we see our son struggle.
So we are faced with our choices.  1) Do nothing and wait for the next major seizure to strike.  Or should I say seizures?  People who suffer the intense amount of seizures that Mason has are more susceptible to SUDEP (sudden unexplained death in epilepsy) and the possibility of going into a coma after such a serious episode.  We can keep giving him high doses of meds that his body over metabolizes and which make him sleepy or we have a second option.
2). Deep brain stimulator surgery.  I have long been hesitant to put Mason through any kind of brain surgery.  For obvious reasons but there are new devices and procedures that offer us hope.   While Mason currently has a VNS (vagus nerve stimulator) it does fairly well controlling smaller focal seizures, this new device is put in your brain.  Well, the electrodes are put in your brain and the device that controls it is implanted just under the collarbone.  This is frustrating for Mason because he already has one device implanted, now he will have to have two.
We took a couple weeks to pray about it and think about the options.  You can think yourself into a never ending spiral. Then another episode happened.  This time four seizures in a row. I was officially ready to sign up.  We are caught in the most literal way between a rock and a very hard place.  You never know if you are making the perfect decision an there are risks but if we do nothing we know the

most plausible outcomes and they are very unsatisfactory.

So here we are asking for your prayers.  On June 5th we will be at Mayo Clinic before the crack of dawn to go through with this (hopefully) life improving surgery.  As I sat to write this and began the title with Between the Rock & the hard place.  I saw or should I say the Lord spotlighted the word Rock.  What an appropriate title.  We are between The Rock and a hard place, but where else would I rather be than leaning on the everlasting arms of the Rock of Ages.  Even in times like these when I wonder, “Do you see me? Do you hear me?”  His still small voice comforts me with His words:  “The Lord lives and blessed be my rock; and exalted be God, the rock of my salvation.” 2 Sam. 22:47 and Ps 71:3 “Be to me a rock of habitation to which I may continually come; You have given commandment to save me, For you are my Rock and my fortress.”  And Psalm 94:22 “But the Lord has been my stronghold, And my God the rock of my refuge.”
The list goes on.  If you are in a hard, hard place right now I encourage you to just take a moment and look at all the references to God as our rock.  You will never think of the saying between a rock and a hard place the same.  Honestly, there is no other place we would rather be.  

Bless you all and thank you in advance for your prayers.  Prayers for healing, peace, and a successful procedure on June 5th.  Also, pray for Mason’s faith to grow, his heart to be encouraged, and for the Lord to send him a really great friend.
-Melissa Pyle
5/21/2020

Here are some more verses to encourage: 2 Sam. 22:32, 1 Cor. 10:4, Ps. 18:46, Ps. 62:2, Ps. 18;31