Rough Seas

“ And there *arose a fierce gale of wind, and the waves were breaking over the boat so much that the boat was already filling up. Jesus Himself was in the stern, asleep on the cushion; and they *woke Him and *said to Him, “Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?” And He got up and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Hush, be still.” And the wind died down and it became perfectly calm. And He said to them, “Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith?” They became very much afraid and said to one another, “Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey Him?””

‭‭Mark‬ ‭4:37-41‬ ‭ 

The only time I’ve been out on the open ocean was on a cruise ship.  I prefer to appreciate the depths of the sea while firmly planting my toes in the sand. In spite of this land lover admission, I have definitely felt the helpless feeling of wave after wave crashing into my life boat and feeling like Jesus is asleep while I am suffering. 

As a mom of a now adult son who has experienced seizures since age 10, I have many times cried out to God in desperation for the storm in my son’s brain to stop. If you’ve never experienced the type of seizures my son has, you may not understand, but let me paint a picture for you: Imagine you are enjoying a pleasant evening or falling fast asleep in your bed and bam! The seizure hits him, he convulses, often turns gray, makes gurgling noises. You want to do something but in all reality, you are completely helpless. Many times a loud boom is what we first hear and we rush to make sure he isn’t injured by a nearby object as he fell. 

The sudden terror that gripped the hearts of the disciples when a freak storm arose on the water must be the same terror I feel every time we watch him go through a violent seizure.   Every time I think: Jesus make it stop! Sometimes I think: are you even awake? Do you really care that I am suffering? 

Silence.

I sit quietly waiting, knowing that peace be still is a reality but my faith sometimes folds under the pressure. When I feel myself folding I know Jesus is asking me: “why are you afraid?”

Why am I afraid? He is in the boat with me! He knows our journey and he really did create the wind and waves and they do obey Him. What am I so fearful of? 

I’m fearful of losing. So over and over again, I have to trust that even if the storm doesn’t stop instantly, God is still on the throne. I am not alone. The wind and waves know Him, sometimes better than I do, I think. 

I forget the miracles, the promises of the past. The wind and waves cannot forget. They are molecular structures that have no souls but are patterned in a genius array of code. They just follow His words. They have to bow. I am human, DNA carrying around an eternal soul that feels so independent of the restraints of science that it’s not until sickness or struggle slaps my face with its ferocious waves do I doubt the love of my Father in Heaven. 

God knew long ago what my struggles would be in life, He also knew the struggle of those in the boat with Him that evening. Way back in Psalms, hundreds of years prior to this incident, the following words were written: “He caused the storm to be still, So that the waves of the sea were hushed.”

Psalms‬ ‭107:29‬ ‭NASB‬‬

These words are almost verbatim to the experience with Jesus in the boat. My heart takes comfort in knowing that He knows, He knew I’d be on the relentless stormy sea of trial and just need Him to speak the words of peace. My heart needs to be still and know that even the wind and waves obey Him. 

Hold on dear one, your life may feel like a small boat in a raging sea but remember, He’s not asleep, He does care, cry out to Jesus. 

-Melissa Pyle